Two of last weeks’ ZANews episodes featured inserts of ex-President Thabo Mbeki in conversation with a barman, as he tries to decide on a drink. The conversation goes a little like this:

Let’s see… ahh. Hey bartender, give me a Slippery Nipple and a Fuzzy Navel.

No, wait…

Make me a Tall White Russian. Ohh, what am I saying now? I mean a Tall Black Russian.

Veto that – I’ll have a Bloody Manto: vodka, beetroot and garlic. It gets you really drunk, and when you wake up, your watch goes missing.

On second thoughts, do you know how to make a Niehaus Screwdriver? Vodka, orange juice, and I’ll pay for it next Tuesday.

Okay. Never mind. Instead, I’ll have a Slippery Hlope so that I can really be under the influence. No, on second thoughts, I don’t have the constitution.

Just give a Shabir Shaik and by the morning I would have made a full recovery!

Later, in the same bar….

Bartender, tell you what. Give me a Quiet Diplomacy. No, that doesn’t do anything.

Give me an African Renaissance. No wait. That never arrives, and so on.

Wait, wait, wait, I’ve got it.

Won’t you give me a Polokwane Surprise? It’s vodka, sour grapes, crushed ice, and then you stab it in the back when it’s not looking!!!

Ahh, eish.

Tell you what bartender, just give me a double whiskey.

Oh, and charge it to Judge Motata.

Mbeki makes it into today’s ZANews episode as well, but this time as a interviewee lamenting about his lost “friendship” with Jackie.

Don’t know what ZANews is? Check out this post. And visit the broadcasts now streaming from their own dedicated site at ZANews.co.za – you won’t regret the laughs.

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